Spiritual Massage: The Video Version (for text version, see 7/27/08)

I've been busy putting together a video companion to the last post, Spiritual Massage: Suggestions for Receiving Sacred Bodywork and don't have new content for you in terms of a blog post. But I think you might like this video post. It's got some really nice photography and relaxing music (thanks to http://www.jamendo.com/ for the music; it's a great place to go for free--creative commons--downloads). So...I hope you enjoy the video!

Spiritual Massage: Suggestions for Experiencing Sacred Bodywork

Everything in life has a spiritual aspect, and receiving massage is no different. There are times, however, when a bodywork session seems particularly sacred and you feel as if you have transcended your ordinary material world and entered a special state. You connect with your essence and are immersed in a deep well of peace. You find restoration in being connected to the spirit – both personal and universal. In this sacred space, there is access to powerful resources of healing and transformation.

Experiences like this can’t be forced, yet there are conditions that support the flow of spiritual energy during the massage session. These include feeling safe, having a meditative object to focus on, and letting go of an expected outcome.

Possibly the most important condition is having a sense of safety. Feeling safe includes being listened to, having a sense of privacy, having confidence in the massage therapist, and feeling comfortable in the environment. Knowing that you are accepted and that the massage therapist can meet whatever arises with compassion and respect is also important.

In addition to feeling safe in the external environment, you need to feel safe on the inside. This means trusting your ability to handle pain and emotions, so that you can allow yourself to feel as fully as possible. Ironically, when you let go of your defenses against feeling what you fear is unpleasant, you open the door for spiritual connection.

During the massage, getting into a meditative state is helpful. Finding a massage therapist with a good quality of touch is a strong foundation for this. When the massage feels great, you have less mental distraction about the actual bodywork. The wonderful touch can become an object of concentration. If you find yourself caught up in thought, bring your awareness back to the physical sensations of the strokes. Watching the breath is also very helpful. It’s not necessary to force deep or slow breathing, in fact this, effort could detract from the experience. Just bring awareness to the breath and notice its flow in and out of the body.

Finally, let go of expectations or desires of actually achieving a “spiritual” massage. Allow it to be what it is. If you spend the massage striving to achieve something, you lose the opportunity to relax. By relaxing and doing nothing, you are actually just being. It’s in the moments of being that you can experience your Essence, where you are connected to your deep Self and everything in the universe. In your essence, you find everything you need, including clarity, strength, compassion, peace and joy.

Try using these suggestions the next time you receive bodywork. You just might find it divine!

© 2008, Rebecca Mauldin, All Rights Reserved

Emotional and Spiritual Aspects of Receiving Massage

massage school experience,

When we are touched by another person, we can focus of the physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual aspects of the touch. The physical aspect of touch is usually pretty accessible. We’re used to experiencing the sensations of pressure, speed, pleasure or pain that accompany getting touched. For many of us, the mental qualities of our lives in general, not to mention touch, are very obvious. There’s the constant soundtrack of commentary going through our heads, even when we want to relax and have a massage or share a foot rub with a friend.

It can be much harder to be aware of the emotional and spiritual qualities of touch. Sometimes we compartmentalize these aspects of life. Emotions get relegated to talks with other people, sad movies, weddings, and extreme sports. Our spiritual lives are saved for church, temple, mosque, or the meditation cushion.

In spite of how we might tend to compartmentalize them, there’s no really no separation of the body, emotions, mind, and spirit in reality. This is great news because it points to using bodywork as a way to get “in touch” with our emotions and spirit.

As we receive touch, we can pay attention to the emotions that begin to surface. With just enough fortitude, we can meet these emotions with acceptance and even appreciation, allowing them to run their course. By being touched, we have an avenue for feeling what’s in us to feel. It’s a way to develop self-knowledge and authenticity. As an added bonus, when we allow the emotions to arise and run their course, we release them from our bodies and energy fields where they have been held, waiting for us to truly feel them.

Getting touched can open us into spiritual worlds as well. When we feel safe and are receiving bodywork from someone who is being present, we can notice our energy shift. We become connected to expansion and movement, united with something greater than ourselves, or aware of the qualities of our own essence as they arise. When we return to our ordinary state of consciousness, we may return with the awareness of peace, love, compassion, clarity, strength, or whatever else the touch opened up within us.

To explore the emotional and spiritual dimensions of massage or bodywork, find a therapist with maturity, experience, good boundaries, a non-judgmental attitude, and the ability to stay present throughout the massage experience. If you chose, discuss your intentions for the session and determine if the therapist feels like a good match for you. During the session, stay open to the possibilities without becoming attached to things turning out in any specific way. Allow yourself to have whatever experience you might have (even if it turns out to be a nap!) and welcome any rejuvenation or enlivenment that might occur. Enjoy!

© 2008, Rebecca Mauldin, All Rights Reserved

Self Love: An Added Benefit of Massage School

Sometimes it's hard for me to convey how much of a difference massage school can make in a person's life. I got this thank you email last month and was really touched by our graduate's words. I've reprinted it with his permission.

Rebecca (as well Donna, Davida, Ryan, and Kim),

I've been meaning to write to you for a while now but find this is the best time for me to do so. I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for helping me discover, in myself, the ability to be who I can. Even though I was still and arrogant little shit while at RMIHA, I was instilled with the tools to be someone who is compassionate and can learn to love-to love with my entire being. These last few years have been extremely difficult for me, and most especially my relationship with [my partner]. We entered each others lives as unhealthy, destructive children, who tried to love each other without knowing how to love ourselves. We tried, but our fear of pain kept us from fully opening up to each other and that fear spilled over into every aspect of US. When the bottom fell out we were both wounded so deeply, and old wounds that were never resolved joined in the fray. I pushed her away, and she felt abandoned. If, for nobody other than myself, I want you to know that I am indebted to you, because in that darkness of fear and pain, I found a grain of light. A grain of infinite possibility that I am a beautiful person. A grain that was revealed to me through my education at RMIHA. I realized that the person who really hurt me the most was myself, because I had not forgiven myself for things I still carried with me, and they prevented me from loving myself, and in turn, loving [my partner]. I have been buried in David Richo's books (which I also would not have known without my education) and I have realized that I can forgive myself, and I can love myself. And that now I can truly love those around me. To love them in a way which I had never known before. I see now that massage was not what I really learned, rather, I learned how but be human. How to feel, and how to love, truly and deeply. And so, from the bottom of my heart, thank you-so very much thank you. I'm ready to begin a new chapter in my life, and a new relationship with [my partner] that will finally be healthy and productive, and be the father that [my son] needs...I'm ready to grow up.

much love always,

-ef, Class of 2005

Massage Ethics as a Tool of Personal Growth: An Introduction

Most massage therapists receive Codes of Ethics and Standards of Practice from various sources. These lists of guidelines and rules are helpful in setting the professional standards for massage therapy. Yet, the "rules" can be slightly different from one organization to another and, like anything in life, external rules need to be supported by internal values to be successful. When we notice ourselves in the gray areas where the rules don't seem to work, it's a good time to look inward to see what's going on.

Take, for example, the rule "don't accept gifts from clients." A lot of times we will ask, "why not, what's wrong with that?" or "do we really want to become so impersonal that we can't accept a gift?" Good questions. In a situation where a client is offering a gift and we recognize the standard of not accepting gifts, yet we want to anyway, it's a great time to look at ourselves. Is the desire to accept the gift based upon our perceptions of what the client needs to enhance the therapeutic relationship? Is it based upon our own needs to feel special, appreciated, or wanted? The notion that if our motivations are client based it's less of an ethical dilemma than if they are personally based may or may not apply in all situations.

So...this rule ("don't accept gifts") is pointing to the emergence of transference and countertransference issues, which are rich ground for healing. When we delve into our countertransference, we often discover unmet needs, unexplored fears and desires. Which is really cool because when we bring them to consciousness, we have the ability to grow and transform.

While ethical dilemmas usually aren't very comfortable, if we approach them with the willingness to look inward, we can bring a lot of healing to ourselves--a true gift!

© 2008, Rebecca Mauldin, All Rights Reserved

The 5A's: Five Tools to Facilitate Massage Ethics

I just got back from a quick trip to Pagosa Springs, CO, to
present an Ethics class to the Western Colorado Chapter of the American Massage Therapy Association. It was a lot of fun and I appreciate the opportunity they gave me to speak on one of my favorite topics.

One of the things we discussed in this class was the 5A's from the work of David Richo: Attention, Acceptance, Appreciation, Affection, and Allowing. In his book, How to be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving, he discusses each of these in detail. It's a book I highly recommendto anyone interested in improving relationships and healing emotionally. Or in our case, studying ethics.

Richo tells us the 5A's are essential for healthy human development. They help us grow, mature, follow our dreams, and trust others and the world around us. They are also keys to being mindful and present.

He goes on to say if you have received (initially from your caregivers, but later in life from yourself) enough...
attention, it leads to self respect;
acceptance, it leads to a sense of being inherently good;
appreciation, it leads to self worth;
affection, it leads to feeling lovable;
allowing, it leads to the freedom to pursue our deepest needs, values, and wishes.

When we provide the 5As to ourselves, others people, and situations, we introduce a catalyst for transformation. Giving the 5A's is basically a practice of unconditional love.

This post is just to give an introduction to the 5A's. I haven't said much about the correlation between them and ethics. I'll have more to on that later, but in the meantime, please give your comments on how you see the two interrelated. (Thanks!)

Oh yeah, the photo is of a kayaker surfing at Corner Pocket in the Animas River, just 1/4 mile from the school. I thought it was appropriate for attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection and allowing--lessons of the river too!

© 2008, Rebecca Mauldin, All Rights Reserved

I'm passionate about massage school

If you're lucky, when you go to massage school, it's a life changing event. Of course you learn many new skills, acquire lots of academic knowledge and gain tools to start a new career. But at its very best, the massage school experience shows you more of yourself than you knew before you started. The experience of giving and receiving bodywork opens your physical and emotional body, exposes your defenses, and gives you tremendous opportunities for growth and healing.

At Rocky Mountain Institute of Healing Arts, we're gearing up for a graduation in a couple of weeks. A lot of times at graduation, family and friends of the graduates come up to me and say, "Until I saw this ceremony and heard what the graduates had to say, I had no idea massage school was like this!" So lately I've been reflecting on the profound things that happen during the school year.

In the classroom, we laugh and cry, support each other through challenges and cheer each other in success. When the classroom becomes a microcosm for life with all it's ups and downs, the students have a chance to learn to be great listeners, to stay compassionate, not to become ungrounded by someone else's experience, and to stay present with another human being. These are things that make a person a great massage therapist and they truly can be learned in the classroom. This is why I think it's an honor to be a massage teacher. Because we get to guide and direct our students during this special process.

In this blog, I plan to write about the things that excite me about massage education and share what it's like to be in massage school. Sometimes massage lessons are only applicable to bodywork, but usually they are applicable to life.

© 2008, Rebecca Mauldin